We were invited to submit our story for Julie Best of You exhibition to share our story to inspire others. Here’s the story we submitted.
I was in a state of shock when I found out that I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I had just broken up. And, I will not be eligible for the benefits or financial help as I was going to be an unwed mother. After much deliberation, I decided to keep my flesh and blood.
The 9 months pregnancy was dotted with morning sickness and many trips to the gynecologist alone. There were moments I would cry and think to myself, “Why I am doing this alone? Would I be a good mother?” Fortunately for me, I had my family and my friends who supported me and saw me through to the very day Evan arrived. He was a tiny bubba, my bubba.
At first, I felt anxious on the endless challenges that may surface after lying dormant in the business of life. There seemed to be so many uncertainties that may come by in various ways that soon emerged in the rush of everyday. Underneath all the clamor of life, I began blogging to share my worries and fear as an unwed mother. And, bubbamama.com was born.
Years passed. My boy is now a adorable and cheerful 4 year old who is loved by many. It has not been an easy ride so far but I have been extremely blessed to have undivided support from my family and friends. Evan has given me great strength, endless laughter and smiles to my mundane life. I have experienced the joy of waking up with him and the beautiful morning glow greeting us on weekends. Having Evan enchanted and empowered me as a person. He was the love of my life. For him, I had the newfound courage to live life meaningfully as a single mother.
With Evan, I discovered a world of absolute purity, of lush opportunities, of how God must have intended the world to be, from where it once was. I found love. Like returning to an old trunk teeming with memorabilia from life’s former days, being a mother gave me an opportunity to wonder at the internal workings of my heart and soul. It gave me a stage for self reflection, meditating on the current situations and letting the silence of the external give space to ponder the internal.
Together with a few other mothers, we decided to collaborate and turn bubbamama.com into an online magazine. The idea was simple. We wanted to share the joy and learnings of being a mother – a virtual space to spread inspiration for all mothers and mothers-to-be, wed or unwed. – Edited by Gene Kwek