THE KITE STORY – A PARENTING ANALOGY
Many parents have their own definition of a champion but one thing we know for sure is they all possess a strong trait, RESILIENCE. It is the ability to bounce back during difficult times, learning, integrating and reinventing oneself. The capacity to cope with and overcome challenges and obstacles. As parents, we want to drill and nurture our bubbas with this concept and the determination to finish well.
3 THINGS WE NEED TO KNOW BEFORE WE SET OUT TO HELP OUR CHILDREN
- Our children millennials, they are digital natives – only interested in social media, mobile tech, idols, music pop culture, reality shows – their behaviour has changed because of technology and mobile technology has become their security blanket. Reality show alleviates their voyeurism, idols don’t need to have morals or values but HAS and NEED to be entertaining. The kids follow and they become influenced by the bad values and behavioural patterns.
- They are always not present, always staring into their phone and there is no depth in their relationships – it is their way of living, in an impersonal world.
- We have understand behaviour is to look at the causes of an action and it’s consequences. Example, punishments and rewards in parenting could lead a child behaving well, but once the punishment is not there, then things may go wrong. We have try to understand what they are thinking and brewing in the heads. Social fabric will crumple if we don’t take care of the important values and know how to be humane,hence we have to understand and nurture our children with the right concepts.
Think of parenting like flying a kite. The kite is guided by a string. A string thats invisible yet powerful, the string in this Kite Flying metaphor signifies the relationship. The relationship is to guide or influence the child, not control. Using the concept of control will bring us back to the system of reward and punishment again. Relationship is necessary to set the internal “compass” of a child, so to speak. We do need to exert control and use behaviourism when our children are younger, typically up to the Primary School ages. However, things change when they reach their teens and the relationship with them takes over. If you want your children to be a Champion, Relationships are important. Foster a strong relationship and most importantly, interact with them – know his/her favourite colour, food and the current best friend etc.
WHAT ARE THE INGREDIENTS OF A GOOD RELATIONSHIP?
A good relationship is a bank, the concept of relationship bank – accumulating quality time and not quantity.
- Satisfaction– activities that are mutually satisfying – fun for everyone.
- Trust– never break any promises made.
- Respect– respect the children like how you want them to respect you.